Bloggin Bear - The inexplicable adventures of an enigma

Daily delights

November 14, 2009


Today is my birthday. Ummm, yeah. I generally take a look around at where I am in my life and count my blessings, look for improvements, and plan accordingly. This year feels a little different.

I’m currently job searching. Since October of 2007, I have had three jobs. Before that I had 2, spanning over 10 years. Company number one, went through a complete restructuring a month after I was hired. Consequently, they went from 130 people to 20, needless to say the last one hired was me, and I was in the first wave of people downsized. Two months later, I took a position with another firm that was 1/3 my previous salaries. All because I needed to get a job and feel productive. 5 months into that position, I received a job offer from another company. I took it. It was a different industry but I had the skill set to make it work. This company had organization issues and product development concerns as well as, the challenge of being a complex sales cycle for the product. Then the economy tanked.

You know the whole nationwide economy collapse that we are still in, but could be recovering from? Hahaha, 1 in 6 people are unemployed, and these are the people who have education and experience and want to be working (me, me, me!!!). So almost exactly one year later, I find my self  “down-sized” again. (I wish this was my weight, we could all probably use a little trim here and there, but no, this is another job). There is some comfort in the fact that I was the 7th person this year they cut, and two more have gone after me. But sadly, that really isn’t a comfort, it’s depressing to know that 9 people I know have also lost their jobs and are having the same problems I am finding another job.

It’s been almost exactly 2 months that I have been applying and looking, and interviewing for another position. It’s also disheartening that for every filing position and bookkeeping job that CPA’s and MBA’s are applying for the same position. You’ve heard of a buyer’s market, well this is an employer’s market. They now want education and experience to even interview for the simplest jobs. But they aren’t paying a living wage, they are paying minimum wage because they know these people want a job, not entirely for monetary reasons. We are buying our self worth, measuring our success by our employment status. Working or not working. This is going to be an unrecognizable nation at the rate we are going. Breaking the spirits of the productive people is probably not the best long term plan. If everyone treats the position they land with the mentality of “don’t rock the boat or try new things”. We become a workforce of Lemmings. Impeding creativity and development, and taking away our will to triumph. Not to mention adding a whole new layer of discontent to our daily lives. Does anyone ever want to be known as the “quiet one”? 

I’m still looking for another job, but I am being a little more cautious. Job interviews feel like first dates. And truly, they are. I just hope I can find the position that you “saw from across the room and fell in love”. Instead of the friends with benefits scenario that seems to keep lurking in the shadows. :)

Daily delights

June 28, 2009

It’s Summer again…

Wow, just realised that I’ve had so much to say but didn’t want to “put it out there”. So consequently it swirls in your head until you are just chasing all your thoughts all the time. This would not be a productive use of your time. Nor does it help you move forward.

I need to get caught up on… well everything.

1) Job, going swell. Economy nose-dived my first month there…I’m in recovery as is our nation. Doing everything humanly possible to move sales forward. More on the corporate culture of this company later.

2) Relationship, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yup, that sums up my dating life. Actually, If I do this right and get everything in a screenplay format I think I have a comedy here. I know it has been a wonderfully amusing roller coaster of experiences. Oh yes, there will be sharing, and opinions on this soon too.

3) What’s left? TV, great stuff on right now. I won’t plug HBO, Showtime, ABC, CBS, NBC, or the CW. Not even USA, or VH1. But they all have something that I seem to DVR weekly and get amusement from. Of course, I am a bit macabre.

4) Cat doing fine. Need to find a way to de-furball her. Unlike every cat in history who just hocks up a furry lung ball…not her. And she won’t eat ANYTHING but her kibble. No treats, nothing. NOT EVEN TUNA. So getting her through this is a little more difficult.

5) EX, well that’s a whole thing. We are now room mates and that’s fine. No talking about anything relevant, or deeper than…TV. Now I know why I watch so much *sigh*.

6) Family. They are doing well but I just haven’t been talking to them as much as I should. I shall rectify that situation.

It’s interesting what order these came out in. I guess I should work on that. We’ll talk soon Internet. Very soon. I mean seriously, who can afford therapy in this economy!

Happy Sunday!

Daily delights

May 8, 2008

Today Sissy went to Heaven

My baby kitty Sissy went to heaven today. She got really sick really fast and her kidneys shut down. I spent a long and loving night with her and this morning the vet said she wasn’t going to be able to fight her way out of it. She would be miserable and to weak to move and be herself.

The look in her eyes said it all.

I loved her and I will miss her. She was the only version of a child I ever had. She was 18 years old and was loved everyday of her life.

I’ll miss my baby girl. She had the softest fur, and the sweetest smile. A huge personality and she loved me back.

May God bless her and keep her safe and happy.

Dating again

March 31, 2008

The thrill of meeting someone new….

If this is a game, then we are on the hunt. That means meeting is akin to the kill. Or does that come later? (bad pun, but you know me….)

I love meeting new people. And so far I have been more than pleasantly surprised by the gentlemen I have met. They out number the cads by a serious ratio. I love talking about everything and nothing and just being with a new person.

Getting a glimpse of the world through their eyes is exciting. I mean you can talk on the phone, or IM until your fingers tingle, but actually, touching, hearing, seeing, and even smelling someone is pretty euphoric.

Now before you start thinking I’m insane (am I too late?), there is the thrill of a new adventure, the possibility of something wonderful, and the expectation of greatness, when you meet. Who doesn’t want to pull up to the restaurant, or coffee shop and see the person of their dreams sitting there….only to realize they ARE waiting for you? And the light of recognition is a thing to behold. The “oh Thank God they aren’t quasi-moto” aspect is always nice too.(You can see it in their eyes …IF you passed muster that is…)

That great first date will set the tone forever…and aren’t first dates great in all their awkwardness? It’s fun, you can either be the person you want them to think you are…or you can be yourself and hope they can deal.

Personally, I like me, I take me everywhere. And sometimes, dates wish I brought someone else. But women are chameleons in their lives too often. I have finally tapped into who I am, and frankly, now you get to meet her, (Wait come back, I’m not THAT scary).

I’m having a wonderful time meeting all of you. I hope your not disappointed, though I know some of you are. Even the worst dates have a unique silver lining. You left the house, you took a chance, and if not this time, then maybe the next time, the person of your dreams might be there…waiting for YOU. If not you got dinner, and crossed another person off the imaginary list of frogs to kiss before you find your prince or princess.

Me? I find royalty in everyone. I love the diverse and the unique, the strange and the sane, the total thrill of the hunt. Even though my arrows are imaginary, my memories will be forever.

Thank you for coming on my safari.

P.S.~ I’m definitely a catch and release girl.

Daily delights

March 28, 2008

Sweetness and Light eminate from my……

Aloha! I have been in a pretty dark place lately and my posts seem to reflect a lot of negative, if constructive, energy. I sorely tried to just get some things off my chest and move on…a brain drain if you will. Sorry if you now think I’m a bitter biddy, I’m not. Really, I’m not!So I have decided to write about some things that are a simple pleasure and delight to me when encountered in the “real world”.

1) When my hair is blowing in the wind and you sweep the loose strands back behind an ear….
2) When you open my door, pull out my chair, or walk on the street side to keep me safe.
3) Your hand casually seeking mine to hold…anywhere, anytime. And the bonus is the thumb rubbing the back of my hand and you aren’t even aware your doing it.
4) Guiding me via your hand on the small of my back, when we are walking, or dancing, or even standing still.
5) Small languid kisses on my neck, and shoulders. Caresses on skin.
6) Gentle deep kisses, while being held in firm, not crushing, embraces.
7) Your smile, and the light in your eyes when you see me.
8) Simultaneous laughter, over anything great or small. Simultaneous wonder at life around us.
9) Teaching me something I didn’t know, show me the art of it. Woodworking, History, Flora, Fauna, and more. If it’s your passion or hobby, or just makes you happy share it with me…
10) Looking into my eyes and not looking away. Intimacy, is in the eyes.
11) Resting my head on your chest/shoulder, listening to your heart beat. Any position.
12) Comfortable silences.
13) Hearing Children laugh, those gut wrenching, laughs.
14) Blowing bubbles in the wind. Watching birds surf the air currents.
15) Eating messy food and letting it run down my chin, neck, and beyond, especially a juicy Mango…Somethings are made for the bathtub.
16) Holding a baby, walking with a toddler unsteady on his or her feet, and walking with a “big kid”, who’s hand barley fits across your palm.
17) Staring at God’s painted skies, watching lightning storms from afar, listening to the rain hit the ground.
18) Making a kitten purr. Or a puppy’s tail wag.

All of these things and more….so many more.

They make me smile, they make me feel cherished, and they are just polite and simple.

Daily delights

March 10, 2008

Spring is almost here….The hives are swarming.

Anticipation is in the air. You can feel the distinct caress of relationships everywhere.

People are smiling, and relaxing and getting friendlier. All in the hope of meeting someone to be with. It’s different from winter dating, where your bundled behind a protective shield of clothing and you can hide your identity behind your jacket. Spring is more exposed. Spring shows its undisguised fangs of desire. Spring wants. It changes the flavor of the conversations to something more riddled with inuendo, and yearnings for more…even just one night.

So I’m saying be alert, the hibernation is over. Put on your best game face and be wary of the “to good to be trues”…they are. The predators are out, and so are the frogs. Make sure you aren’t kissing an evil prince or princess.

Spring is a liar, it lures the flowers into blooming, and then freezes them on the vine.

Keep your jacket on just a little while longer.

With meaning and love….

Daily delights

December 31, 2007

The Reality of successful relationships…

Q: Does chemistry fade with time? Is there any way to bring it back?

** Usually after one to two years it starts to wane—the actual chemical levels in your body die down. There are ways to keep the thrill alive, though, like going on vacation with your partner to some exotic place or doing some kind of physically thrilling thing together. An increase in adrenaline levels can help people feel closer.

** Chemistry can fade if you don’t pay attention to it. If communication is minimal due to responsibilities such as time-intensive careers, kids, money etc… life’s demands can contribute to couples misplacing their chemistry. But I think you can find it again.

** Chemistry doesn’t necessarily have to fade with time. What makes it fade is not familiarity, but the fact that many couples get into routine ways of being together and habitual ways of making love. Also many partners give up their independence and their old friends, and start to act out of obligation. They forget that they are two separate individuals and this detracts from the sexual attraction they initially felt. To remedy this, I think it’s important for couples to reminisce, during times of conflict, to the time when the sparks of passion first began to fly between them. It helps them reconnect to the feelings they enjoyed during the early phases of their relationship.

Daily delights

Well then….

10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
By Margaret Paul

“My parents had a very good relationship,” I often hear my clients say. “What do you mean by good?” I ask. “They didn’t fight. They spent a lot of time with each other.”That may have been the definition of a good relationship years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your way, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive joy out of being kind to each other? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within each other, rather than just the faults? Are you able to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with each other, letting yourselves be like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside time just to be together?
Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you fine when you are not together?
Some couples spend a lot of time together because they really enjoy it, while others spend a lot of time together out of fear of being alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on each other. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

All relationships have some conflict. It is not the conflict that is the issue, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues just keep getting swept aside? If fighting is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, punishing your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection.

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other – and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are, not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without fearing being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling each other? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?

Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with each other about what brings pleasure to each of you?

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you joy? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?
While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to heal the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be loving to themselves and each other

About The AuthorMargaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner bonding now! Visit her website for a FREE Inner Bonding course: or email her at Phone sessions available.

Daily delights

December 26, 2007

And I named the tree…

Ernestine. Yes, Ernestine. It’s a beautiful tree. I decorated it all by myself, and did the lights and hauled her home, and put her in the stand. And is that a story too.

Only 4 people got to see Ernestine this year though. That’s not very many and she is a beautiful tree. no packages under her skirt anymore, but the lights are still on with all the crystal icicles and the beautiful ornaments. It was a very different Christmas this year than last.

I had many spirits on Christmas eve, and a wonderful friend came over to help me fight off the years remaining demons. I also didn’t have to wake up on Christmas morning alone. Friends are the greatest invention of God’s ever. I was actually terrified of waking up alone on Christmas day. It was one new experience I didn’t want this year. I have had all the new life experiences this year I can handle.

Well more on all later.

Have a Merry, Happy Holiday season.

P.S. Today is Kwanzaa…in case you were wondering…and Christmas is until Jan. 6th….:)

Family Ties

August 23, 2007

New nephews

Nathan Thomas — July 31, 2007 (7.2 lbs, 20.5 inches)
Micah Joseph — August 23, 2007 (8.13lbs, 21 3/4 inches)